Waiting Game

I decided to participate in the research trial. This decision is not one that I have made lightly. I have to go through the chemo at the very least. If I take part in this trial, I will hopefully be helping some other woman in the future. I strongly suspect that in the not too distant future, more and more women in their thirties will be in my shoes. Although family history had much to do with my getting cancer, my weight, high blood pressure and not having a child yet, all contributed to it. With that in mind and the media telling us every day that we are becoming more obese, and as a result having more obesity related health issues, I came to that conclusion.

Now, here is where I am to date. I made this decision almost 3 weeks ago. The very next day, I found out that my insurance company would not cover the research trial. WHAT?!?!? I spent all that time making that decision for nothing? So I got on the phone to the nurse who runs the research trial. She e-mailed my nurse and the nurse and other office staff faxed a letter to the insurance company to get them to review their decision. Four days later, the office followed up on the letter to see if a decision had been reached. They had magically not received the fax. So, the office staff, being the awesome women that they are, faxed them another copy, sent another by certified mail, AND had the nurse call and speak with them.

And we are still waiting. Apparently, the insurance company can take as long as they want to make a decision. It’s a good thing I don’t have cancer or, wait, I do! Assholes. Let be clarify something, I am not in danger of dying from the cancer in the near future. This is more preventative measures to make sure the cancer did spread out beyond my lady parts. I am just so damn sick of waiting. I agonized over this decision, made it, and now I just have to sit a twiddle my thumbs. I want to yell and scream at someone, but there is no one to yell at. I am pretty sure if I yell at the insurance company; they will either say no or wait until I die of old age before giving me an answer. I am not sure when I will decide if I have waited long enough and just have the non-trial chemo and radiation. Yet another decision to agonize over. It’s times like this when I wish I was just a kid and someone else would make the decisions for me.

As of this morning, I still have no answer. I called Dr. Cancer’s office to see what the status was. I am currently waiting on a call back from the nurse. Hopefully we will get an answer and get this show on the road.